When I’m sixty-four

Snowed in today. My car hates this kind of weather and it reminds me every time I attempt to drive in it. Or maybe it’s my tires that hate it. Or maybe I just hate it? /gazes off into oblivion, lost in thought
In any case, I’m staying put. Thankfully, I have plenty to do here (new job!!!).

The title is because the song is stuck in my head. It does relate to my topic. Kinda.

I had an interesting experience whilst unemployed. I was a full-time student for years, preparing to finish school. Suddenly, I was a graduate with a lot less to do. Even though I knew it was coming, it was a surprisingly uncomfortable place to be. But not just because I didn’t have a job. It had more to do with how I define myself.

I had based my identity and general sense of worth on being a good student, on being busy, multitasking. That’s not a bad thing. I think it’s good to appreciate one’s abilities. But when those were suddenly gone, I grappled with the idea of being ok without them.

This was a good space to be in, because it forced me to accept me without those things. What if my skills were taken away? What if I could never use them again? What if I was limited in the way I creatively express myself? What if I lost the use of my hands? What if I lost my sight? Take away any of those things that can be taken away. What is left?
Am I still ok? Am I still lovable?

Darn right I am.

And so are you.
Because what IS left? What is the most lasting ability we can have? I really don’t want to make this all cheesy, buuuut it’s pretty much love.
Here’s a little sketch I did just for you, to prove my point. Thanks for backing me up, John.
Image

p.s. when I was a kid, I thought the words to that Beatles song were “when I’m six feet four”…yeah. That’s not happening.

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